Hey papa. This is becoming a slow week. I don't seem to be getting anything accomplished being on this leave. I should be in Kansas with mom where I told my boss I was going to be. I will on Friday. Got my flight booked. Head out on Friday morning. I feel like if you were still here I'd be disappointing you. By all the crying and not being at work right now. I can hear you tell me to knock it off, that you aren't worth all the tears and trouble. Yes you are. I wish I could just find out what I need to do. What I should be doing with myself. Where I should be. I feel so lost now that you are gone. I feel like I'm driving Shaun crazy with all my indecisions and every day changing my mind and how I'm feeling. If I knew, I wouldn't be so annoying right now. I've applied for a job with Walmart and considering going to Krystal's tomorrow. I don't know dad. Just wish there was this blinking sign telling which direction to go, to lean towards.
Mom and I didn't talk much today. I sent a few msgs to her. Told her about my flight. She told me that Gene has the info and is going over it and will get back to her in a few days and that pervert Tom got Life in Prison!!!! Ain't that kewl?! Guess the judge saw through all the lies and put Tom where he belongs. I bet Chris is very happy. Just wish it never had happened to that baby. Sick jerk! To think I used to hang out with him.. eeewwww!!
Shaun is upset with me cuz I can't seem to make a decision and stick with it. Every day I'm telling him something different. Told him tonight if mom has to have surgery on her knee that I'm gonna be there for her. He got all haughty. Said he's sick of ifs.. that's all I got right now.. a bunch of if's.. Jeez.. it's mom.. I think he'd be a little more understanding. He's always been there when his mom went thru stuff. Why is it such a problem for me to be with my mom IF she should need me. Not saying she's going to have surgery but how else would they repair her knee? I'm tired.. its late.. better get to sleep. I love you daddy. (forehead kiss) talk to you in a little bit. <3
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