Hey papa. Can I call 'em or can I call 'em?! My birthday sucked a big one. The entire day was sucky. From start to finish. I didn't expect anything--and got just that and yep, my feelings got hurt. This morning I got up and mom said Happy birthday then I cleaned up your bathroom, got the bedroom ready for Auntie if she has to come, had a bowl of cereal, emptied the dishwasher, got my shower and did laundry. Ran Snick to the park. Brian was in town so I went and got him and took him to your house for a little while. He tried to spank me. I think I'm quite past being spanked for my birthday, thank you. Took him back to his truck and then we left for the airport. Mom got me there with plenty of time to spare. Gave her a hug and Snickers a kiss and got checked in for my flight and got to the gate. Didn't cry this time. I don't know why. Maybe cuz I was thinking about things. Thinking about this past week. Thinking about today. Thinking that when I got to the other end and Shaun and Rob were going to make my birthday special, but I was wrong. Tell you about that in a second. My flight was fine. A little bumpy here and there but the clouds were beautiful. I sat next to the wing and engine. I think being up there is the closest I'll be to you for a while. I wish you were here though. Shaun picked me up at the airport. We got out of there and drove home, he said on the way home he was thinking of a surprise for me so I'm thinking, oh, he got me something.. nope.. nada.. I got nothing daddy.. nothing. Rob made dinner tonight and I did get my Baskin Robbins cake but nothing else. I got birthday wishes on Facebook and that candle thing I talked mom into but that's it. Oh, I did get to clean house when I got home. Fabulous fun. All I need now is the bullet and the gun. A dreadful day daddy. Simply dreadful. I was just, I don't know, expecting it to be happy or fun or God, something.. but it was nothing.. it was just another day, as you would say about yours. Would have just liked a little bit of happiness, if even for just a day. 
I turned on my laptop a little while ago and I have your picture there, the one when you were here for my birthday 2 yrs ago.. I bawled, sobbed, cried so hard.. my day being like it's been and then to see your picture. You so happy and your eyes sparkling. Rob heard me crying and came running in here. He held me and let me cry. Kept telling me it was gonna be OK. He's asked me like a million times since I've been home if I was OK. No, Rob, I'm not OK.. but thank you for caring. I'm gonna go papa. I finished that book I was reading at your house and am ready to start the 2nd one so guess, I'm gonna go do that. I love you papa. (forehead kiss) talk to you in a little bit <3  |
| August 15, 2008.. by far, one of my bestest birthdays.. wish you could have been here for this one dad. Love u! |
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