November 30

Hi papa.. So how magnificent was the spread on Thursday? I'm sure it's done way up right up there in Heaven. Joe and I just spent Thursday together. Just another day off for us. We slept most of the day. Had brunch about 2ish. Then took another nap. Don't really know much. Just wanted to say hello. Mom had her appointment Wednesday to see if she can get the surgery. She said she'll know for sure in a week or so. Still hoping the dr says no but I'll do my best to be supportive if it's yes. I just really, really don't think she needs to have it done. I just think there are so many alternatives. So many other safe ways to lose weight where you can keep your body in one piece. I wonder what you would have told her, I wonder if you would have gone along with it to please her or if you would have said no way or if she would have even told you about it, meaning keep it to herself she wanted to do it. Its not my place to tell her she shouldn't do it but I can lend my opinion.  She's been doing things she's always wanted to do with auntie. I'm glad she's able to finally do them. I'm doing the same thing with Joe. S never wanted to do anything with me. It was always either video games, sleep or cigarettes. When we moved down here they started having their vacations without me cuz I couldn't get off work.
Mom came last week. It was good to have her here. Sucked to see her leave. We didn't really do much. Just hung out around here. She cooked. It was good. I've missed that home cooking. I cook but I don't make things like she cooks. I need to get all her recipes before I'm not able to so I can make them later. I wanted her to make egg noodles but I forgot. We had so much other yummy things. Coulda gone for a chocolate sheet cake but Joe thinks its too rich. No point in making something not everyone is going to enjoy, right? I don't really know anything else. I love you daddy. (forehead kiss) I still miss you every day. Talk to you in a little bit.

November 14

Hi papa..I don't know much, I just wanted to say hello. Mom will be here next week. I'm looking forward to it. Its not the actual Thanksgiving but it'll still be nice to have her here. We're still gonna have tday dinner. Do it up big as Joe said. Mom said it's about family and being together, so it shall be.
Mom is still convinced to get that surgery. I wish I could talk her out of it but she is determined. There's still time daddy if you could talk to the big guy and get him to pass the right info onto the dr's she's going to see the 27th. She said we'd talk more about it when she comes. Missy is gonna talk to her too. I just still think there are other options. Better options that leave her body parts intact that the good Lord gave her when she entered this world.
Rob gave Shaun a Christmas list a mile long and he's actually getting him most of the stuff on the list. They gave me "my list".. the expensive stuff, the stuff they don't wanna get him or didn't want to but decided to go ahead and get anyway. So, I'm mad now and don't wanna play so I'm probably gonna just get him a gift card, send him some money. He's almost 20, he doesn't need lots of presents on Christmas. If it had been me I would have said, OK, pick 3 things on here and let it go at that. S still treats R like he's 12 and not almost 20.
You know, life has changed so much in a years time. A year ago I was fighting with dumdum about everything and having to deal with him and his attitude and now I'm happy, life is virtually stress free and I'm able to just breathe and be me. I miss Rob, I miss the whole being a mom thing at times but I am also happy that I'm just able to be. To be me. To be happy. I think about 2004 when S came back, how I thought I needed him back. Boy, was I wrong!! I think me and R woulda done just fine continuing on our own. I'd still be in Kansas. I wouldn't know Joe but hmm.. scratch all that.. I am happy everything happened when I think about the end result. God knew exactly what he was doing having us move here. Joe is every reason I'm happy these days. He's every reason I smile. God knew I needed Joe just as much as Joe needed me.
Over on Post Oak close to where we used to live these two kids broke in to some guy's place thinking the homeowner wasn't there, he heard a commotion and went to investigate and saw the boys. the homeowner then shot at them and hit one of them in the neck and he died. He was only 17 but still he shouldn't have been there.
I don't know much else papa. Guess I'll get on with my evening. I love you daddy. (forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit.

November 4

Hi dad. Welp, we didn't get thru to her. She's gonna do it. Makes me sad. Makes me worry even more about her. I just don't understand why at 65 she wants to have 90% of her stomach cut out. I can't believe the dr would ok it, heck, even suggest it. It's just crazy. I told her that I support her, I do. I don't support her getting this surgery. I don't think she needs it. I don't know why the dr wouldn't try suggesting putting her on a strict so many calories a day diet, no sugars, no white flour, no starchy foods. Some type of exercise daily. I just think there are so many other options. I love momma so much. I just wish I could understand why she feels this is her only option. I told her I'm gonna be there when she has the surgery and I'm gonna try to stay a few days after. Guess it depends on the weather if I can go and how long. I wish she'd just wait until next spring. I don't understand why the rush. Makes me think its already been in the works or something and she just didn't wanna tell me. She's got appointments on the 27th to make sure she can have the surgery so now she's not going to be here for Thanksgiving which makes me really sad. She said she can still come the week before or after but it's not gonna be the same thing. I was so looking forward to taking the time off work to spend with her but now I can't, I'll just have my usual days off. Its been 3 yrs since I last had Thanksgiving with her. I gotta talk to Joe first and see what he thinks. 

The past few days at work have sucked massively. We've been so busy because of the 1st of the month. Luckily the ppl I work with are pretty good when we get in a pinch. We work together as a team but there's always a few things that don't go how I have them in my head, then I get irritated. But that's life I guess. This job is actually one I rather enjoy. Not near as much stress as Krystal. Slim to none most days, in fact. Today we started soups and salads. I don't think ima like them. They are so time consuming and I don't know how some ppl will react when we tell them it'll be 5 minutes for a sandwich cuz we have to cook the main ingredient to order. Then I think about Sundays, we're gonna get slaughtered with the soups n salads. A guy from corporate was there all day. Tried my best to keep our i's dotted and our t's crossed. Guess I did ok. 

Anyway, today just isn't a good day. I'm gonna find some dinner, pout and maybe take a nap before Joe gets home. I sure could use one of your hugs today. I love you daddy. (Forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit.