April 18

Hey Papa Bear.... what's up. Not a whole lot in my world. Since my last post, Joe's now divorced and we have our wedding planned out. He told me to start planning it and I was like, uh huh, right.. then on the 9th I started some planning and thinking about when I wanted to marry him and sooner seemed so much better than later. He said he'd be happy going to the judge right after his divorce papers were signed and getting married but I wanted something more special than that. So, something more we shall have. We went looking for dresses and I was just going to get a pretty dress, something I could wear again if we ever went some place nice. We went to this shop that one of the tenants works at and it's a dress shop. They sell prom dresses, wedding dresses, rent tuxes. I thought when I went in Josh would show me pretty dresses. He showed me some and also wedding dresses. I never thought I was the wedding dress type but he had me try on this dress and yeah, it happened. I fell in love with it. It's so pretty. Joe loved it too so with some finagling and his discount I got a really good deal on it and so now have a wedding dress. Joe rented a tux, he's going to look amazing. We are gonna get married at the wedding chapel in Ringgold and we're gonna do the sand ceremony. I'm excited about that. The newer version of the unity candle. I think the sand is gonna be blue and pink. Of course pink. Tried to get Joe to get a pink tie or a pink vest and he wouldn't. He says real men don't wear pink. OK, maybe not but he'd still look amazing. Put that boy in a gunny sack and he'd look amazing. LOL! Yes daddy, 8 months in and I'm still head over heels for him. How I wish you could be here for the wedding. We'd walk high and proud down the aisle for sure! Not even thinking about ducking out any back door this time. If I coulda seen the future I'd sure taken you up on that offer 20 years ago. I did get a pretty good kid outta the deal but that's about it. Mom is gonna come down and be here for it and then stay and hang out with Snick while Joe and I go on our honeymoon. We're gonna go to Tunica. It's gonna be so much fun. Then when we get back, mom is gonna stay another day, hopefully 2 so we can spend some time together. Next week, I work Monday and Tuesday then I'm off the rest of the week. Gonna hurt the paycheck but so worth it. I still believe God sent him to be in my path when he did for a reason and if it was to become a happy person, THANK YOU JESUS!! I've been nothing but happy for 8 months. Even on my not so great days, I see Joe and it makes all those yucky feelings go away. So, anyway.. I have my dress, Joe has a tux, we have our rings, our marriage license,  a place to get married, a cake, some guests, a honeymoon destination, and each other so I think we're good to go. One more week of being Ms. Evans and then happily will be Mrs. Burris until it's time to come up there and hug that neck of yours! So, sit tight.. I'm enjoying myself being all happy and in love with Joe right now.. gimme about, hmm.. 30, 40 more years and I'll be right there. Wish so hard things could be different and you could be here.
Have talked to Rob a few times since they left. He doesn't really talk to me which hurts my feelings, but I guess I have to live with it. He lost his iPod. Has no idea where he left it. Thought he lost it in his room, he didn't. We thought maybe it was packed in with the stuff in the car, it wasn't. So, I guess the other day Shaun's ex took them both to T-Mobile and bought them new phones. Rob got an iPhone 4s and idk/c what Shaun got. He said she got it for him to replace his iPod. Gee, how nice. Idk dad. Glad Rob is getting out there and is starting to do more than hide in his room all the time but when I text, he doesn't text back, when I call, he doesn't wanna talk. I feel almost like Shaun has poisoned Rob against me. Sent him a box of his crap and barely got a thank you outta him for it. Really hurts but I guess that's what happens when your kids grow up. I've decided I'm going to just let Rob contact me even though I wanna call him, text him, check on him every day. Rob will always be my son and I'll always be here for him if he needs me. Guess that's what parents do. Mom mentioned when we talked a couple times back that I don't call her as much as I used to. She said she can tell I'm happy now cuz I used to call her like every week, sometimes more than once when Shaun and I were together. I wasn't happy and I didn't have anyone to talk to before. I didn't have a friend when he and I were together but now I have all that and more with Joe.  I still need her, still wanna talk to her but whenever I call I feel like I'm bothering her almost with all the fun she's been having with auntie. Mom is going on a cruise in September with Aunt Norma. Yes, my mom! I'm happy for her but surprised the heck outta me when she told me. We know you wouldn't have liked it, I'm right there with ya dad. Went on a day cruise one time with Judy to the Bahamas and I was sick the whole day. I'll keep my land loving legs on dry land thank you. I hope she has an absolute ball though and takes lots of pictures. Makes some memories.  I don't know much else. I guess I'll go. I love you papa. Probably the next time I stop by I'll be Mrs. Burris. :) I love you dad. (forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit.

April 3

Hey papa. How ya be? I'm alright. Today woulda been mine and Shaun's 20th had we stayed together. Glad God had other plans for me. That sounds mean but don't mean it to be. The guys left Monday morning at about 6. We got up about 430 to get over there and say goodbye. It was hard to let Rob go but I did. I cried like a baby of course. I was hugging him and he said, Mom, stop you're breaking my spine. Shaun hugged me before he left and told Joe to take good care of me. Joe told him, I already am. Joe and I stuck around after they left and cleaned up a little until we both were too tired to think straight. Didn't get to go back to bed cuz the landlord came and we had things to take care of. So Monday made for a very long day for both of us. Talked to Rob a little Monday and yesterday. He was very tired of being in the car. Said the trip was turning out being bad for him cuz he kept getting hurt on the way. The car was so packed, there was like no room at all in the car. Rob had to leave quite a bit behind and wants it shipped to him. I'm trying to figure out what he needs right away and what can wait. It's gonna take weeks to get it all boxed and shipped. Ima miss Rob so much but I'm hoping this move to Utah is somehow a good thing for him and he can find something he enjoys doing and will get a job and all that. I worry he's gonna get pushed to the side but pray Shaun isn't that self absorbed and does that to him.
Joe's divorce is next Wednesday. I am so excited, so is he! We have been waiting for it very impatiently and for a while.  After that then we can get married and that's the very, very exciting part. Still don't have anything planned but hoping to get it figured out quick and then let ppl we want there know the details. Sure wish you could be here in person but I know that you still will be in spirit. Will be very small but hopefully still nice. Joe is so the right thing for me. So the right one. He is so good to me dad. So good for me, with me. He is my absolute everything. I don't think I could get any luckier if I tried. I don't know much else.  Just wanted to say hello and I'm always thinking about you. I love you papa. (forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit.