February 18

Hey papa.. Was gonna write the other night but after I got off the phone with mom I couldn't get time on the computer. I'm about to start a new venture I'm pretty excited about. I'm gonna start selling Scentsy. Scentsy is a wickless candle system.. totally much safer than a candle though.. its a warmer, has light bulb, that you plug in and put this scented wax in the top part of it and it melts the wax and then the whole house smells delish! I've been wanting to do it for a while but we haven't had the money and I haven't felt ready to try but I will have the money when I get my tax return and think maybe I need to start living again. I know you wouldn't want us just sitting around moping and lost in our grief. It doesn't mean I've stopped being sad about losing you but just think I need to stop stewing in my sadness. I know you'd want us to get back to the business of us so I'm gonna try. Anyway, about Scentsy.. I think I can do this.. Shaun told me I can do one of two things, succeed or fail.. and I'm gonna do my best to succeed. Been failing at too much lately. I need to find ppl to buy.. to have parties for me..but I think I can and I will. I can even do these things called pouch parties, I send all the stuff to who ever, where ever and they have some of the scents and catalogs and order forms and have a "party".. take it around to their friends and stuff getting orders and then in like 2 weeks they send it back to me and I put the orders in and they get free and discounted product for doing it. I can mail these pouches to anywhere.. like say, if mom got a crazy hair to do it I'd mail her a pouch and she'd take it around. Haha.. love to see mom do it. I know she won't but it'd be fun. :)

Things on the work front are OK I guess. I was ready to quit a couple weeks ago. Ready to walk right out. My morning manager was over exerting her authority we shall say. Told the GM about it and she told me to not let her get to me cuz soon enough she won't have any authority anymore. Delicious. I love it. So, I've been trying to just not let her get to me. With the new GM we have new rules and frankly I don't wanna play and told her so - the GM - and she said she's not gonna make me so it's all good. When you do your job like you're supposed to I guess it has it perks.

I don't really know a whole lot more. I told you mom closed on her house in Illinois. She said there will be a place for Snick to run and that's good. It's close to Deb's/Aunt Norma's and to all she needs.. the grocery store, McDonald's for tea, Wal-Mart. All the essential places. I'm happy for her but wish as I know she does that you were here to share in it with her. I don't know you'd be moving to Illinois, just know you'd be together where ever that is. I had a dream about you last night. Mom and Brian were in it too. I dreamed we were meeting some place, I don't know where we were but you guys were hungry and you, mom and Brian got in the truck and drove off as soon as I got there and I started to cry because I just wanted to spend some time with you guys. I'm crying and hear your voice, asking me why I'm crying and I keep crying and try to tell you and won't look up and you said, 'Young lady, look at me, why are you crying?' and as I look up to say, 'I just wanted to spend time with you guys', you disappeared. I woke up crying. Heck of a way to wake up on a Saturday morning. I just laid there for a little while thinking about the dream, wondering why mom and Brian were in it. But y'all drove off. I hope it doesn't mean something is gonna happen to the two of them cuz that's like the rest of the ppl besides Shaun and Rob I'd hate to lose. Brian can be quite a jerk at times but I love the big dork. Shaun wants his computer back so I gotta go. I love you dad. (forehead kiss) and oh how I miss you. Talk to you in a little bit. <3

February 3

Really missing you today dad. Nothing to really say. I'm looking for a new job. Sick of what's going on at Krystal now. The new manager bringing new rules and forgetting that most of the crew are adults and not 12 yr olds who need to be monitored at all times. Not to sound snooty, but I'm one of the best cashiers they got there. I've been told that by several ppl plus I know. Anyway, bringing new ppl in and treat the others like we're the new ones.. forget that. I've applied as a dispatcher at a security place. Idk if I'll get it. It's in God's hands. Rob doesn't like the hours I'll be working or that I have to drive at night to get to work.. I don't drive well at night. Be just fine if all the idiots weren't out there too. Don't know much except I miss you and wish you were here.. would love to hear your voice and you tell me to hang in there. Love you daddy. (forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit. <3