March 20

Hey papa.. Sunday was Bristol and OMG daddy.. it was a Blast!!! If you coulda been here I so woulda taken you with us. The seats were uncomfortable but it was still so fun! I haven't watched racing since Dale died but I had so much fun. It was so loud and so fast. Not as many accidents as we thought would happen but enough. Joe roots for Jimmie Johnson and he was doing good. Started in like 9th and worked his way up to 2nd. Then he hit the wall at almost the end of the race and got knocked out of the running. Kasey Kahne ended up winning. His first Bristol win. He's a new guy, you might know him. I think Joe said he came on the scene in like 97. Not sure. But my first Nascar race and it was awesome. : )  Traffic was a nightmare but overall it was a great day! So wish you coulda been there in person, cuz I know by golly you were there in spirit!
 Shaun and Rob are leaving on April 1st now instead of the 5th. It's gonna hurt so bad when Rob leaves. Shaun has been nice to me this week. He boxed up a bunch of stuff I had wanted before and he wouldn't let me have. Now that I have it I have no idea where I'm gonna put it. I'm gonna go thru things and probably get rid of a lot of it. Just knowing I'm not gonna be able to see Rob is what hurts the most. I see him about once maybe twice a week but still I get to see him. Not knowing when I'll see him again about kills me. I asked for the 5th off so I could see them off and then he springs this on me today. I don't know if I'll be able to get the 1st off now. I was bummed the whole rest of the day. Crying, upset, Joe just hugged me and let me cry. He is a complete blessing to me.
I thank God every single day for him. I wanna believe that you had a hand in it too. That you and God sent him to me. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I wish I had met him 20 years ago but I know that I was meant to meet him when I did. It was part of His plan. His divorce should be final in the next few weeks, then we'll be able to get married. I can't wait. We're 7 months in and I still am crazy over the moon for him. Still find him absolutely amazing. I wish you coulda met him. Time for me to go get him from work. I love you dad. (forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit.

March 3

Hey papa. Happy shoulda been anniversary! 46 years. An amazing feat, especially this day and age. The good Lord only saw fit to give y'all 43 years but that's still a mighty long time. I was always so proud of you two for sticking it out. I was like one of the only kids in my class who still had their parents married to each other. One of the only kids to be able to say this is my mom and dad, not mom and stepdad or vise versa. You n mom was the shit! Lol. Growing up I was always your little girl and me n mom were close too. It was nice growing up, looking back now, to know I always had both of you on my side. Even when I was wrong, which I know wasn't often but...lol... I think if you were here you n mom woulda gone to eat, maybe the movies, then just relaxed the rest of the evening. Just spending time together. I miss you papa. Wish you were here so I could hug your neck.
Don't know much. My new job is ok. Only thing that sucks about it is I'm not getting as many hours as I'd like. Going to talk to her about it this week. I quit Krystal thinking I was going to be getting 40 hours or at least close to it and I'm not. This last week I was "training" and she said once I was trained I'd get more hours. Let's hope I can at least get 30 hrs. I'm happy to have found a job so I could get out of Krystal but not worth it with so few hours.
Me and Joe are doing great. Wish I had met him years ago. Still find him absolutely amazing. He has a beautiful, shining aura. He makes me so incredibly happy. Thinking back I might have found Shaun amazing when I first met him but that feeling didn't last long. Think the only reason I stuck around was for the financial "security", not that he worked but the money he did get helped and I never thought I could make it on my own. I know now I could. Ok, we'll maybe not now now with the job I have but if I coulda kept my temper and put up with the BS, I'd be doing just fine if I was alone. But....so very thankful I have my Joe. Together he n I are wonderful. That feeling knowing that I'm always gonna have someone who loves and fully accepts me for me. I feel loved, know I'm loved with Joe. With S I wondered, questioned, doubted it but with Joe, I know. Guess I'll go for now. Gonna change the wax in my warmers. I love you papa. I miss you so much. (Forehead kiss) talk to you in a little bit.