November 22

Happy Thanksgiving dad. Didn't have the regular turkey fare. We had Salisbury steak n mashed potatoes. I felt so bad that I couldn't make the traditional dinner for Joe but he was ok with what we had. It was just the being together that mattered to him. Me too. How was your day? I can only imagine the spread they have in Heaven. Money is stupid tight for us. We have like $6 bux left until we get paid. Have to take Joe to Dunlap Tuesday for his court date. He's done some work around the apts to make some money. Will take money off the rent which is good. Don't really know much today. Kinda bummed today. Just wanted to tell ya happy turkey day. I love you papa. (Forehead kiss) talk to ya in a little but.

November 18

Hey papa. My computer died on me so have to do this on my iPad. Anyway, I got my job back at Krystal. I got moved to a different one but so far it's not bad. The crew definitely needs direction but I'm up to the task. I asked this one kid working yesterday to do this n that...the stuff he needed to so he could leave and you'd think I asked him something major. He was not happy with me but I'm there to manage, not make friends. The crew have a habit of clocking out when their time is up without even asking if they can go. That is soooo gonna stop, especially when I have to take over the shift. Joe is supposed to get moved over there with me but idk when. Hopefully soon. I've been getting my crew outta there about 20 minutes after close but with Joe, heck, we may be outta there even sooner. Robin is my new boss. So far, I think she's ok. I hear she pays dirty though. Idk, I hope not. So over the drama that was at East Ridge. She tells me my closes have been great. I know that opinion may not last but I'll take the compliments for now.
Money is still crazy tight. I know it's my own fault. We're not gonna have a Thanksgiving dinner cuz we don't have the money. Joe says he understands but I know he's disappointed. Makes me feel so bad. We won't even have enough to pay bills next payday. Idk what we'll do but can only pay what we can pay. I just can pray that check gets issued soon. Mom said its in the judges hands now but hopefully he'll sign off on it like already and it gets sent out next week. Hey, a girl can dream... And pray! I never shoulda quit but I did. Just thankful I was given another chance. Now I just need to run with it and make the best of it.
Shaun is still being his Jekyll n Hyde self. Thursday Rob met with his new counselor and after he got back I guess he was upset so he went for a walk. I had called and asked to talk to Rob and Shaun said he was out walking. I went and found Robbie and we went and parked in a parking lot and talked. He said he misses his 'mommy' and doesn't understand why me and Shaun can't stop being so immature and get back together. He doesn't like Shaun's new cow girlfriend and daughter living there which I can understand. Rob said he didn't like her there and so S threatened to kick Rob out cuz of it. I think S needs to be thinking of Rob too, not just how he feels and his own selfish wants. We've told Rob countless times he's welcome to stay with us but he wants to stay at the house. Plus he doesn't like Joe. I keep telling him Joe is a good man but he doesn't like him cuz he took me away from him and Shaun. I guess I just don't get how at 18 he's not comprehending how things work out and acts like he's still 6 and thinks we'll be apart for a while but work things out and get back together. Sorry Rob, soooo not happening this time.
The divorce is Wednesday and I'm looking forward to it. Seems wrong almost to be looking forward to it but I'm finally there, to that point, that I'm so over it point. I just wish Rob was handling it better. He acts like me being happy is wrong. Shaun told him I abandoned him and he believes it. I wish Shaun could just be a dad and not this massive ass he's been as of late and poison Rob with his BS. Think that's all I know right now. Guess I'll go for now. I love you papa. (Forehead kiss). Talk to you later.

November 3

Hey papa.. Don't really have much to tell ya but I wish you were here. I need a daddy hug. Everything is OK.. just missing you. Still haven't found a job. Joe is still being supportive and telling me to hang in there and it's no big deal but it screams BIG DEAL to me. Hindsight is 20/20. If I hadn't let my temper get the best of me and say to heck with it I'd still be gainfully employed but I didn't and I did so here I am. I've always worked so not working.. having such a hard time finding work is hard for me. It's hard for me to sit still. I've checked about every avenue to find a job too. Just unbelievable it's so hard to find work this close to the holidays. Just have to stay positive even though it's hard to sometimes. I feel so guilty when I have to take Joe to work and I come back home and do next to nothing. He said he's had someone to take care of him for so long that it's nice to have someone to take care of. He is absolutely the best thing ever to happen to me.. besides being Rob's mom. I'm holding on to him tight. He is a jewel and I'm not gonna let him get away. He got a part time gig here at the apartments. The landlord called him today and asked him if he would be willing to do the maintenance around here because Jeter is in jail and probably will be for a while. He said absolutely. He's so handy so he's gonna do great. He's made our apartment so nice. Livable, homey, comfortable. Just having him here makes it a home. I'm sure if you were around you'd tell me I gush on so much about my Joe. Daddy, you woulda loved him. Oh, wanted to say thank you for putting the bug in God's ear about getting him sent to me. He has been nothing but a blessing since the day he walked into my life. Mom said you musta sent him cuz you knew I deserved better than Shaun. Funny how I lived so blindly for so many years thinking I was happy. No sir!! This is Happiness!!! 
I guess I have a piece of paper coming to sign that says I approve of the settlement and won't go back and try to get more. There isn't a monetary amount that could ever replace you and we all know this.. but what mom did get, what we'll get helps me to know that yeah, they admit their guy was at fault as we also all know. I don't know if the insurance company was for like all the ppl involved or just the truck company. It's sad to know that someone, especially someone as wonderful as you, had to lose their life before they cut the trees back on that corner. Maybe if they hadn't been there you'd still be here. But still the guy shouldn't have been on that road and shouldn't have been driving as fast as he was.. then try to say you hit him.. nay nay I say!! Nay Nay!! Some ppl have said that us kids don't deserve anything because we didn't suffer a loss like mom did and because we're adults. That we shouldn't accept anything and give it back to mom. I don't know, I wasn't expecting to get as much as we will but I feel I did suffer a loss.. I lost my father, my best friend, my house, 3 months of wages, my job. I couldn't function for a while there when we first lost you. To hear those words, "Mindy I'm so sorry you're dad was in an accident and got killed." It ripped my heart outta my chest. I know mom's loss was different but also the same. She lost her husband, her lover, her confidante, her best friend, her normality. She also suffered monetary loss losing your income but she was able to make herself go right back to work.. I don't know how cuz I sure couldn't. So hopefully, this settlement will help with some closure to that part for all of us but it will never take away the loss of you. You are always in my heart and my thoughts. I still feel you around when I'm doing things. When I smell diesel fuel I think of you and smile. When I see an older guy in overalls and a plaid long sleeve shirt, I see you. I have your pictures all over my apartment. Joe is OK with it, which even if he wasn't, he would be. He told me if you were around he'd thank you for me cuz w/o you there'd be no me. He is absolutely amazing dad. Guess I'll go. I love you daddy. I miss you so much. (forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit.