Gee papa.. where have I been? A whole month with no posts.. I guess I've just been talking to ya in other ways this past few weeks, huh? I was thinking today when I was looking at Rob's senior pics how proud you would be of him. His pictures are so good dad. We can get a picture that has this border where we can put whatever slogan/saying we want. What popped in my head when I was looking at it was what you said to me when we first moved here. I remember I was talking to you and telling you how much I hated it here and how I wish that maybe we hadn't moved and all and you said to me.. Even the eagle has to land sometimes. I don't know why that has stuck with me but I think about that talk and you saying that to me from time to time. God how I miss you. You always seemed to know just what to say and when. Its hard to believe you've been gone a year and a half. I still don't get it some days, why it had to happen the way it did, why it had to be you. I know God has a plan and 'everything happens for a reason' but I've yet to understand/see what that reason is.
I've just been busy with work and living. Shaun's mom got moved back to Florida. He took her a couple weeks ago. Now they are trying to get her house ready to be sold. I guess a few ppl looked at it but no bites yet, just some nibbles. Our house is cluttered now with random bs that Shaun thought we just had to have. You know how much I hate clutter. I like tables cleaned off and everything in it's place. A lot of the stuff landed on the coffee table and the cats apparently think that is there domain so they knocked the stuff off onto the floor, the little angels. Grrr! Today I went through a lot of it and threw it away. Shhh.. our little secret.. :)
I'm supposed to be going over to Donna's today to hang wallpaper but idk if I still am. She's supposed to call me after she gets off today. Yes sir.. the same Donna that gave me so much hell. No, she's not becoming my friend but we seemed to come to an understanding and get along now. I gave her a couple chairs that Judy had and took them to her house this week. She actually has a pretty decent place. I was surprised.
Work has been going OK. We have this new girl there that was working at Don's store but transferred to our store and I don't like her..not one bit. She is dating/sleeping with (ever how you wanna say it) Don so we think that's the real reason she transferred even though she claims it's cuz it's closer to her house. She is lazy and doesn't do her job.. the stocking/cleaning part of it.. and nothing is said to her by management. Pisses me off! She brought a bag of dog treats to give the dogs when they come through drive thru.. a complete health code violation.. and nothing is said to her. If a health inspector came through drive and she did that.. omg dad.. we'd be in a pickle! I don't know dad.. I play nice but I can tell ya that's getting old.
I've been thinking a lot about Rob and his future. He graduates in like 6 months and is so not ready for the real world. He has no idea about money.. how to budget and all that stuff. Doesn't want to drive.. wants to learn in Kansas when he's ready, how am I going to do that??! He has all these plans and stuff for a career.. photography, graphic arts.. but doesn't understand that is going to take a lot of higher education that we can't afford. He wants to take a year off from school after graduation but you know as well as I do that life happens and then it becomes.. I meant to go to college but. I always wanted to go to school, learn some fancy trade but life happened. I couldn't afford to go and then I got married, had Rob and so it goes. I think I'd still like to maybe be a CNA. Maybe someday. I feel like I failed him as a mom. I mean, I got him raised.. but not ready to leave the nest and in a few short months is when he is supposed to be ready to fly. If we took him to the edge of the nest right now he'd fall to the ground with a thud. We've already told him that he is welcome to stay with us for as long as he needs to after he graduates. The thought of him on his own scares the heck outta me. I'm sure it scared you guys too when I moved out when I was 17 but the difference there is that you guys prepared me and somehow I made it. With a lot of guidance and support from you guys (moral and financial) If I never said it, Thanks. You guys were always the wind beneath my wings. Anyway-- With his learning disabilities I don't know if he could ever really "make it" on his own completely anyway. I'm not throwing in the towel before the game even starts but I guess I just have to get this stuff figured out before May 26, 2012.
I miss you dad. I miss our talks. I remember how mom would always say how when we'd call you'd pass the phone to her cuz "we never wanted to talk to you". My how wrong you were. You always seemed to have the advice I needed and were the best listener. I get to see mom in a couple weeks, hopefully. :) I get paid on Tuesday and I'm hoping I will have the money to go to Illinois to see her. She's spending her vacation with Aunt Norma n them. I know if you were still here you guys would maybe probably be planning a trip to see your favorite daughter instead or also. We order Rob's graduation supplies on Tuesday and we have to pay 60 bux that day and I need to get his senior pics ordered. That might have to wait until my next payday cuz I really wanna go see mom. I've asked for the time off work and everything.
I don't really know much else. I'm making crock pot chicken for supper.. the house is starting to smell good. Hope it turns out good. Guess I'll go for now. I love you papa. Talk to you in a little bit. <3
