July 16

Hi dad. Having one of those I really miss you and I need a daddy hug days.  Life itself is good, just in a funk. You know how you n mom would be doing just hunky dory then one of your family or hers would have to make waves for some reason n make you wonder why the heck you stick around?  Nah. Probably not but that's how I feel right now. His bitch sister living next door bounces off our wifi for free n then is a total bitch when she's not getting her way and has the nerve to say that I'm a selfish bitch. She came over yesterday griping like she always does and stomps off, I tell myself screw her if she thinks ima keep letting her use any of our stuff especially if she ain't paying for it especially if she's gonna treat us like she does..so I got on my router website and shut down the guests wifi thing and changed my password on my regular wifi. She stomps back over n asks what happened to the wifi n I told her I didn't know cuz I haven't been online so she runs over to Joe's work pitching a fit cuz it's not working. Mind you dad, she pays us nothing to use it and screams at Joe constantly about this or that. She's just a miserable person. So she comes over with Joe when he comes home wanting to "apologize" to me... Whatever! I keep myself busy in the bathroom until she leaves and then he asks what happened to it, I act innocent..ya know I got that down pat ;)... and try "fixing" it so he can get online on his Xbox, I try n try to no avail then I crack n come clean with Joe as to what happened n what I did. I tell him it's not right how she treats us like shit when she's not getting her way and that sharing our internet drags ours down. That everyone else on it is what is making me have issues connecting to websites on my iPad. I told him she could pay some of her bills n get her own cable n internet. But if he insisted I would give her the new password. He didn't say anything, just looked at me. I figured out what the issue was on the xbox n got it working. He finally told me it would be nice if I did give it to her but he wasn't going to make me. He tells me that he wishes me n Dena could be friends. I've tried dad, believe me, but every time I try we're friendly for a bit then I look at Dena wrong way or hold my mouth to the left instead of the right and she's jumping down our throats n screams at Joe n then doesn't talk to us for several days. He told me I just didn't understand her situation but won't tell me what it is and says I probably wouldn't be sympathetic to it if I did know. I told him I played 2nd fiddle to Shaun's family for 20 yrs and I'll be damned if I was gonna do that again. I told him if his sister was more important to him then I'd leave. He told me I was The most important to him but I sure didn't feel like it and then I went to bed early cuz for one of the first times I didn't feel comfortable being around Joe. Our first real fight. :( We finally made up sorta. I'm in my funk today, he's working over at Denny's sisters house doing yard work. Dena called him when we were having breakfast n surprisingly he told her the wifi still wasn't working and he didn't know what happened to it. Hopefully he'll stick to that story cuz I really don't have any place to go to. Kansas isn't home anymore and Illinois is too cold in the winter but I wouldn't wanna stay here. So idk daddy. I just need one of your hugs to make me feel better, 

That horrible lady that was causing all the drama finally moved. We have to get her apartment ready, probably do that tomorrow. I don't know much else. I miss you dad. I love you. (Forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit.