Hey papa. Today was kinda blah. Took Snick to the park today for the first time since I left. He couldn't go cuz he needed his shots and stuff. He was so happy. He ran around and did his thing then came back to me and was ready to go. Didn't do a whole lot today. Did the laundry. Thinned out the plants. We had an easy supper cuz it's been so hot. Today I looked for pics of you for the lawyer. He wants to get an idea of who you were. He'd be surprised and honored to know what a great man you were, you are. I always thought that you were the end all that be all.. ever how you say it. I always thought that if I could have just a sliver of the way you were, so nice and helpful to your fellow man, I'd have it made. I thought you walked on water. It would sometimes worry me how nice you always were. I was afraid someone might take advantage of your kindness or hurt you. But they must have seen what I did.. that you were an angel in disguise. It's been 8 weeks since you left us. I just hate Thursdays. I know I have to get to the "OK-this is what your life is going to be" point but I'm not there yet. Life sux so much right now and it still hurts like it did the day you left us. I'm still crying every day. I've had 8 weeks but it still feels like this has to be a dream. That you are some place and you are going to come home any minute. I want to wake up from this nightmare and the hole in my heart not be there. I want to get a phone call from you asking me how your baby girl is.
My birthday is now 3 days away. I don't know why I'm wasting my time counting the days. My birthday is usually sucky anyway. I know that ppl love me and all that. I just wish that ppl did things for my birthday because they want to and not feel like it's because I mentioned it and they feel they have to. I know my birthday isn't a national holiday but guess I wish I just felt important. OK, sorry daddy. I'm done whining for the day. Mom is doing OK. I love you papa. (Forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit. <3
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