Hey papa. How was your Tuesday? Do you even still keep track of the days? I'm sure in Heaven you don't even have calendars, huh? Ending up doing a whole lot of jack diddly nothing today. I tried going up to Krystal's to take that test and again the computer was down. Shaun tells me to just breathe and be patient. Me and patience are not friends these days. Not being able to get it done gets me thinking and worrying. I have 11 days before I have to be back at Convergys and at this rate I'm gonna end up back there, dagnabit.
Mom went to the Dr today and found out no surgery! Woo-hoo for her, huh?! I bet she is so relieved. The Dr said physical therapy 3x a week. She has this thing that will squeeze her leg. Not sure what it does exactly but if it works, kewl. Glad she doesn't have to go through the pain of surgery. I know she's tough but that woulda really hurt.
Rob will get his class ring tomorrow. They said that parents could come to the ring ceremony if they wanted to. I thought of going and asked him if he wanted me to be there and he said he didn't care either way. Yep, he's growing up and doesn't need his mom as much as he used to. I'm excited for him. I never had a class ring. Damn thing costs about 500 bux! I'm scared he's gonna lose it or get it stolen. His ring is really kewl too. I showed you and mom a pic of it when we designed it.
I made a coffee mug cake tonight. It was pretty good. Its a chocolate cake you can make in a coffee cup and it takes like 5 minutes. Ended up taking me 35 cuz it was a new recipe and I made one for each of us. But, if I should want something yummy and chocolate I'll make it again. Not Wow but OK.. it was edible.. and chocolate, of course!
I also talked to one of my friends tonight about how I've been feeling. He thinks that this blog is a good outlet for me. I think so too, but at times think there is more in me that needs to be addressed. I want to be happy again. Look forward to things and they actually happen. Seems like every thing I look forward to these days blows up in my face. My birthday was a total disappointment. Can't believe how let down I was by everyone closest to me. I can't seem to get this test taken I need to take for this job. Just little things, but the little things can add up and they become big things. I'm supposed to see my best friend from high school on Saturday but at the rate things are going, something will probably pop up that prevents that. Life is so sucky and I want it to stop being sucky. I want to laugh and smile again and not feel this emptiness and pain inside of me. Still keep thinking I'd be better off gone. I know I shouldn't feel or think like that and I know you'd be sad to know that's how I feel but I'm trying daddy.. trying to pull myself out of this slump I'm in. It's not easy but I haven't given up yet. Will let you know when I do, cuz I will come find you. You are waiting just beyond the moon for mama, right? See, I know where you're at! I better go. I love you papa. (forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit. <3
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