July 24, 2010

Hey papa. Ooh, I was busy today! Did everything I was telling you I was gonna try to get done today. I mowed my backyard. I had asked Boo to help and of course he waited until I was almost done before he came to help. He mowed about a foot wide section and then stopped. Gave him a lesson with the grass whip and had him get after it. He did pretty good. We had the hill under control before things happened and while I was away, it's out of control again. So frustrating!!   After that, we went and helped Don move some. It was 100 degrees today. Sweat kept running in my eyes and I got so hot I got a headache. 

Then, when we got done with that we cleaned out the truck and took it up to KIA to see if we could trade it in for Shaun. Doesn't look too hopeful. We were looking to lower our payments and its going to raise it instead. Guess how much?! 125-175 more a month!! Too, too much! Feel bad too cuz Shaun really wants to get out of the truck. I don't know, just because I guess. The truck has a few things that need fixed like the A/C and a belt needs replaced and the doors are loose. They need to be put back on their hinges.. something like that. Plus I think he wants to trade it in so ppl will quit asking to use it or use him to move things. Why is that?! Ppl know that you have a truck so they just assume that you want to help them move stuff!

  Talked to mom today. She had gone to get a bunch of groceries. Tried using the food saver thing and it would either seal and not suck the air out or suck the air out and Not seal. She said that she finally got it to do something but it wasn't what she wanted. She has her finals next week. She's worried about her Ips class. Yes, I know she will do fine too. I guess Brian talked to her about her giving me some money and then he would pay her back. I'm not kewl with that papa. Not gonna put mom in that situation. I'll figure things out. Somehow. Still hoping something happens and Brian gets paid. 
All day I was so busy and hot! Oh daddy, it has been so humid. You would hate it. It's still 88 outside and after 11 pm! Me and Shaun were thinking that there are ppl out there sleeping in this yuck, like campers and homeless ppl. Even talked about going and finding one and letting them sleep in our nice, cool house tonight. A homeless person, not a camper. :) hehe
We go pick up Rob's schedule for school and pay his fees on Tuesday. Gonna be 30 bux for him. Not too shabby, huh pops? Its lots more other places. Like there its about 90 bux! 
I was telling you about being busy. Mom has said she's been staying busy so she doesn't have time to think about things. I think there is something to that. I was busy all day today and even though I did think a little about things I didn't break down and cry, until later tonight. After my day had come to a stop and I had time to be alone in my thoughts. Me and Shaun had run to Walmart and on the way home the song by Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven, was on the radio. I got lost in the song and thinking about you and cried for a few minutes. 
I wish there were enough tears or thoughts or wishes to bring you back to us. I wish that just wishing it would make it so. I miss you. I miss our phone calls. I miss hearing your voice. I miss hearing mom tell me about something you and Snick or the others had done. I miss the comfort and peace of knowing that even though you were almost 900 miles away everything was right in my world. That you were with mom doing who knows what but you and her were OK. Now my world is shattered and I still can't find all the pieces, not that I've begun looking yet. I miss you so much papa. Life sux a whole lot these days without you here. 
I'm thinking about getting a second job. Go back to work at Krystal's. Not sure though. I need the extra money and maybe if I stay busy.. I don't know. Better try to sleep. Ugh-I have to go back to work on Monday. Oy!!  I can do it, right? Right-uh-I hope. Better let you get back to whatever it is you are doing these days. I still think about what you would be doing if you were still here. 
I love you papa. (Forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit <3