Hey papa. Gotta go back to work tomorrow and how I don't want to. Don't know why. Think it's just the unknown--of the callers. I'm afraid I'm gonna get a call from someone that sounds like you or says something you would say and I'll start crying. Is that silly? I've been looking for another job, trying to find something else, something different. I know you told me to hang in there but just not sure I can. I know I should but I don't even wanna go to work right now.
I talked to Uncle Dennis today. He had called your phone on Sunday to talk to mom. To see how she's been doing. I called him back with my phone. It was so hard talking to him. It was like talking to you. He called me honey and told me to give it to God like you used to and told me God must have had a plan for you. I agree with that but still doesn't make me feel better and stop wanting you back.
Mom seems to be OK. But mom will say she's OK when she's not really. She is staying busy so she doesn't have time to think. She is doing good in her classes. I hope that you are still watching over her. She still needs you and she always will. As will I.
I don't really know a whole lot today. It will be 5 weeks tomorrow dad. 5 weeks. Doesn't seem possible that well, first of all, that you are really gone and that it's been 5 weeks since you left us and went to go on with Gods' plan.
I talked to Judy today. She told me that mom needed to be by herself and that she will have a meltdown and needs to have it by herself. She doesn't know our family and how close we are. I know mom is going to go through some things on her own but I hope she will call me if she needs me, to listen, to cry to, to talk to. She also told me that if I need to go to Kansas she understood but to leave Shaun here. I think not. Not splitting up my family. I hate this daddy. I want to be with her but I'm needed here too. Ask God how to clone me and I will leave the clone here and go be with mom. Yeah, I know~ not possible.
I better sleep. Gotta work tomorrow dangit!! I love you papa. (Forehead kiss!) Talk to you in a little bit <3
How I like to remember my dad, happy :)
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