Hey papa. I'm back home now. I wish I was still there with mom and Snick. Me and Auntie left yesterday about 9 from your house. We had a good trip and a nice talk. Stopped by Brian's on the way, stayed for just a second and then got back on the road. We made it to Effingham about 630 and swapped off. It was good to see Shaun. He gave me a BIG hug! We drove just past Mt. Vernon and stayed the night. It was nice to be away from everything for just a moment before having to get back to the world. Got home today daddy and wished I was back in Kansas. OMG dad!! My house was filthy and smelled like old ppl! Remember what your mom's house smelled like all the time? Yeah, like that!! Yeah, Gross man!! I tried to take a nap but couldn't sleep with the way the house looked and smelled. Me and Rob mopped and cleaned and swept and guess what? He helped without too much complaining. I can hear you saying, "well, good." I listen for you, try to think about what you would have said about this or that.
When I came home I saw things you had given me and yeah, I cried. The sunflower jar in my kitchen you found in the trash. The sunflower box you made me. Pictures of you. That fishing thing you gave Shaun. The walking stick you made. Your shoes. The sunflower walking stones you gave me. There are so many countless things you've given me cuz, well, you loved me, but the only thing I hold tight to is your memory now. What a glorious blessing it has been to be the daughter of Robert Wood. I'm sure if I went around town I could ask ppl if they've had the pleasure of knowing who you were and I'm sure I'd get a whole lot of yes's and stories about this or that great thing you did for them.
Not sure what the next few days or even moments are gonna hold. I'm not looking forward to them though. Just getting through my day, I cry a whole lot. It doesn't make me feel better so I don't know why I keep doing it. It's not bringing you back. Its not even releasing any pain so why do I keep crying?? I know I'm grieving but everyday I've cried since June 17, the day you went away. The day my entire world crashed in around me. I don't even know how to dig myself out of this. I feel so lost and like something is missing and it is.. you are. I just want you back. I know I can't have you back but that's what I want.
Rob has changed a little. He does what he's told a little easier and he's been giving me a lot of hugs. I think losing you like we did has shook him up. He and Shaun have been working on their relationship and that's good. I just wish it didn't take losing you for Rob to understand how important your parents are.
I hope you are doing OK. I miss you. I miss mom and Snick and a clean house that doesn't stink! I need my sleep. I love you papa. (forehead kiss!) Talk to you in a little bit <3
Rob has changed a little. He does what he's told a little easier and he's been giving me a lot of hugs. I think losing you like we did has shook him up. He and Shaun have been working on their relationship and that's good. I just wish it didn't take losing you for Rob to understand how important your parents are.
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