Hey papa. Tonight was the last night of the support group. I have to say, I'm glad it's over. It was nice to have the group. To have ppl who have been going through similar things but to hear the stories over and over again. Ugh. I know, bad attitude. Sorry. Tonight we were going to release balloons along with a note to our loved ones. But, it's been raining all day so the balloons were out but we still wrote our notes. We could write them to our loved ones or about our loved ones. I wrote it about you. Wanna know what I said? Well, here goes.. I said, My dad was my rock. My constant. He was always there when I needed a shoulder or to talk or just hang out. I have so many wonderful memories of him that I will always cherish. As a little girl, going fishing with him. I never fished much cuz I didn't like touching the worms. I just went to be with him. As I got older, making sure he had clean clothes for work or had dinner ready when he'd wake up. After leaving home, when ever I needed advice I could call him or go see him and he'd give me my answers then I'd head back home and tackle my problems again. The one thing I hold so dear is when he and I would go to breakfast. Breakfast was our favorite meal. Just a 'dad and me' thing, most of the time. Because no one else liked getting up that early. I'll always remember he'd eat the jelly on the table waiting for the meal. He'd do it a lot of the time just to be ornery. Or how I'd stack the creamers and see how high I could get them. There's lots of things about him I'm going to miss but the time we'd spend together and our phone calls. Gonna miss those things the most. He would call me or I'd call him "just to talk". I'd love when we talked. We'd talk about nothing and everything. I miss that. I miss his voice, even though I have it recorded. Just not the same. Nothing is going to be the same again but I do know he's in a better place and he's not hurting anymore. Doesn't help me cuz I want him here with us. I think about mom coming for Thanksgiving and daddy not here too. He'd loved eating. The selection of food and the nap afterward. I miss you papa. Love you!.. There, that's what I said. What do you think? Have something else I wanna tell you. This is a poem that was in our handouts tonight.
Goodbye for Now
I can't believe that you're really gone now
Seems like it's all just a dream
How can it be that the world will go on
When something has died within me
Leaves will turn; my heart will burn with colors of you
Snow will fall, but I'll recall your warmth
Summer wind, breathing in your memory
I'll miss you
On rainy days, in many ways you'll water my heart
On starry nights, I'll glimpse the light of your smile
Never far from my heart
You'll stay with me
So I'll wait.
So I'll wait.
But there will be a time when I'll see your face
And I'll hear your voice
And there we will laugh again
And there will come a day when I'll hold you close
No more tears to cry
'Cause we'll have forever
But I'll say goodbye for now.
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