October 23

Hey Papa.. Its been a long week. There's drama going on at work that apparently I'm a part of.. or the subject of. No sir, I didn't start it. Tell you about that in a minute. Let's see. Since last week...Shaun is no longer being the butt he was. Don't know if his meds have kicked in or he has realized the error of his ways. Not likely, huh? He tries and he does love me, about all I can ask for. 

Now the drama. There is this Fugly woman, and yes I mean FUGLY, at work that is upset that I am trying to get master cashier and that I haven't been there that long. What business is it of hers?! I went on Tuesday and tried to take the test and she started an argument with Deanna, the boss, telling her that it's not right I come in on my day off and take the test. That I don't have enough experience, I'm rude to the customers..which you know I would never be. That I act like I know everything, who says I'm acting?! Oh, daddy!! She just makes me so mad I wanna punch the last 2 teeth, literally, she has in her head down her throat!! The whole thing started over the fact that me and one other girl have .25 more hrs then her on this week's schedule. I kid you not! And she brought up another girl's name in the argument and that girl was working and overheard and said some things and quit right before lunch rush. Donna is just ridiculous and should be fired!! None of any of this is any of her business and the manager should tell her so but doesn't. It's like the inmates are running the asylum! She doesn't like me so she doesn't talk to me, that doesn't bug me but it does bug me when I need something from the cook, her.. and she snaps at me or comes back with some snide comment. Shaun told me to just ignore her, to be bigger than the problem and just do my job. He's right and I am trying but makes the day so stressful and frustrating to be treated like that. I think I will talk to the manager when I get a chance. She won't be back until Monday though. 

I went for an interview at Toys R Us and they turned me down. Don't even know why. It was a group interview and we did all these dumb games then the managers went out and talked and one came back in and called names and I was the last name called and we were dismissed. It was a bummer cuz I really need some extra money. I told myself that it just isn't where God wants me. I prayed on the way that if it was His will to let me get the job, if not that's kewl too.. so it's kewl. 

I miss you so much dad. I watched a movie a little while ago called Hachi: A Dog's Tale. It was so good. You woulda enjoyed it. It made me cry at the end of it. The man dies and the dog still shows up every day at 5pm to meet him from the train for the next 10 years. It just made me think of you and Snick. I was thinking he must do the same thing. Every time mom comes in at night from work, he could be thinking, "maybe dad will be with her this time".. just made me bawl thinking that. Mom said that he knows that your room is his now. She says he goes right in and goes to bed at night now. I told her that maybe you are in there waiting for him. 

Still going to group. Not sure how or if it's helping me. This next week we're supposed to take stuff that reminds us of our loved one. I'm going to take the video I made. I'm gonna cry, I know. But I wanna share it. Easier to show something then to have to talk. I always cry when I talk at group. 

It's just about my bedtime. I have to work at 6. I hate the weekends. I haven't had a weekend off since I started this job. I guess I should just be thankful I'm working but I hate getting up so early on the weekends. Guess I'm gonna go. Thanks for listening again. You were always the best listener and so easy to talk to. I love you daddy. (forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit. <3