October 1

Hey papa. 106 days. I don't know why I keep counting. Counting and crying aren't helping me. I've cried every day since June 17. Every single day. I wish all the tears could be traded in to have you back with us. Just to have you back. Just to have you here. I know mom would gladly trade in her tears too. Snick has been a handful for her lately. He has been misbehaving. He sleeps all day then wants out at 3 am. You know mom can't get back to sleep when she gets woken up in the middle of the night. I wish I could be with her and help her with him but I am stuck here working. 

I got bit by a bunch of fire ants today on my feet. Oy.. it hurts and I have to work tomorrow for 10 hrs. Hoping my feet can handle it. I have blisters on 2 of my toes from the bites. Those nasty little things HURT. Danny had broke the chain and I had to chase him down and he had drug the chain thru the ant hill and I didn't know it until it was too late. 

I don't know much else. We got paid today and I figured bills and we are will be broke after they are paid. I HATE THIS!! We can't get ahead for nothing. We'll have like 30 bux left. I get paid on Tuesday so maybe things won't be So bad. Wish I could just go back to when I was a kid and you guys were footing the bill and I had no debts. Yep, wish I could cuz you would still be here and you'd be at work and I'd be asking mom, 'When will daddy be home?' and she could tell me, 'In a little bit.' I work at 6am. So up at 450. Ugh.. makes a long day and I'm supposed to work till 4pm tomorrow. They are gonna have to do something cuz I only have like 19 hrs left to work and scheduled 20 and I can't get 40 so maybe I won't have to stay the whole shift. I know, confusing..hehe. I love you papa. (forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit. <3