March 25

Hey Papa.. how y'all are? I'm so tired. I just got home last night from being in Georgia all week with Shaun n Rob. It was great seeing them but coulda done with a lot less drama. I have to watch Marcos and Makayla with mom this weekend. Can't say I'm giddy with excitement about doing it but yay. (:|) Richard is taking Traci to Kansas City for the weekend. Why of all places would ya wanna go to KC for the weekend I don't know but he's always been weird like that. 

Anyway, my week. I left Friday night and drove to Mt Vernon and spent the night. Shaun met me there. I had to get him outta his mom's if even just for the night. We got up Saturday and drove to GA. It was so nice to see Shaun n Rob. Giving Rob that first hug since I had left. He didn't say nothing, just ran right to me and snuggled in and let me hug him and hold him a couple minutes. Yep, I teared up. We went and ate at this place we like, Don Lolo's, its a mexican restaurant and they were having karaoke night and it was so freaking loud we could barely talk. We ate part of our food and left. We were so not pleased. We then went out and found me a place to stay cuz I wasn't welcome at Judy's. Oh, let me back up a little. When I got to the house, Judy was in her room and Shaun told her I was there and she tells him to shut her door. OK fine. I guess while we were gone Judy had said to Rob that she was thinking of kicking Shaun out cuz he wanted to be with me so bad and letting Rob stay. She apparently also said that since I left she's had to replace me. Excuse me?! Heck to the No!! So after that got back to us, to Shaun, ALL HECK Exploded!! We go to eat, Rob tells us about what she said, Shaun decided he had enough of his mom's BS and decided we were going to find a place to live. We found me a place for the night. Shaun stayed with me, Rob wanted to go back to Judy's cuz his stuff is there. He's comfortable in the basement even though Judy is being Judy. He doesn't see her. All he needs is in the basement with him. Saturday morning we get up and drive around and look for places that may be available to rent. Didn't find anything. Sunday we get the paper and find a few places we were interested in but the only problem is they are all too far from Rob's school. We see an ad for a 3 bed trailer and Shaun calls about it and we get the address and go by and look at it. It's in a yucky trailer park. There's a 2 bedroom next door but it looks in worse shape then the 3 bedroom. We had to wait until Monday to be able to see the inside of it and OMG daddy. You woulda flipped. It had cat and dog poo and pee everywhere. Reeked of cigarettes. Garbage piled up all over, they had left miscellaneous things - all trash. No sir.. trash!! You woulda wanted to salvage things but there wouldn't been any way I woulda let you. Has cockroaches. It was nasty dad. But Shaun decides it's what we want. Huh?? What?? Wait a minute!!! And then I guess he tells her we'd clean it if she'd knock off the deposit. It saved us $200 so I guess that was good but daddy.. holy hanna potato chips!! Where do we even begin cleaning up the place? We go do the paperwork to rent it, give her the first month's rent and pet deposit and then go try to find him a cheap couch or bed so he has a place to sleep. We found a set down at Brian's place. He's this guy that was in business with Don, Shaun's brother. He has a used furniture store. Cut a deal with him and then went to the trailer to start cleaning it after being at the store getting cleaning supplies. Some of my days and thoughts are kinda mushed together cuz I'm still really tired. If the kids weren't coming I'd just go back to sleep. Anyhoo.. so we start cleaning and surprisingly Shaun and I worked good together. I did most of the work, of course, but things got done and the place is clean and livable again. It still smells like cigarettes but hopefully Shaun can get that under control by the time I get back in August. We took Rob over after school Monday and Tuesday night to help up clean. He actually helped too. It's not the Taj Mahal but it's a place to live and I think we can afford it. I wanted to tell you thanks. You were there papa. You helped me figure out how to get that door put on for Rob's room and appreciate you leading me in getting it done. That front room is gonna be Rob's hangout area and that door they had there didn't belong and we took it down and hung up the other one. Being your sidekick all those years helped me figure out how to get the hinges on the right way to get the door to hang the right way. As I was working on it I just thought of you. I know that if you coulda physically been there you woulda done what I did. Even though you were exhausted you woulda got it done cuz you wanted it done for him before you left. I was so tired working on it and he kept saying, take a break mom. I wouldn't stop till it was done. I said to Rob as we were working on it that grandpa woulda done this for you if he coulda been here. He said, I know mom. I miss my grandpa bear. I miss my papa bear too Rob.

The place is a ways from Rob's school. If they find out where he is living he will be kicked out of Heritage cuz it's out of "zone". A big worry, but Shaun says and told Rob to just keep our mouths shut about where it is. Hoping Rob can do that. It's like 20 minutes from there. Right now Rob is staying at Judy's until the end of next week and then when he is on spring break he will move all his stuff over there. Shaun is staying at the trailer. I had to get Shaun outta his mom's cuz she was making him physically ill dad. He had a constant headache and stomach ache being there and from when he saw me Friday night till I left yesterday he said he was feeling a lot better. That was a week outta his mom's house. He said all the stress she was causing him made him have to go to the hospital. I couldn't imagine mom making me physically ill being with her. We might not always agree but we get along great for the most part and I enjoy being with her. She's not a naggy bitch like Judy is. I am quite annoyed about our money situation cuz I went with 1800 and came home with like 25. Yep.. I can't Believe that much got used in a week. I had to get hotel rooms since I left.. well, from Friday night through Monday night and they were 35-60 a night and yes I looked for the cheapest places. Had to get all my food since I wasn't welcome at Judy's. I got Rob a new (refurbished) DS since I couldn't get him a laptop cuz we had to get the place. Had to use 725 for rent and deposit for that. Cleaning supplies. Gas for the car. The couch set. And I paid a month's worth of car insurance. Makes me wanna cry but I know that it was for the best. For Shaun's health and mental well being.  I couldn't imagine being so mad at mom that I would take the first available place I found even though my husband and child don't like it to get away from her. That's essentially what happened dad. I asked him why when I suggested we find a cheaper place before all that happened with me having to come here and them going to Judy's it wasn't a good idea and we couldn't afford it but now that things got bad with his mom it is a good idea. He said, because I couldn't see a light then. I'm starting to see a light now. Whatever. I think it just puts us basically back in the same situation for a little while, until I'm really working again at least. Shaun looks at now and I look at later and when I bring up later he just says we'll deal with it when we get there. I'm not like that. Shaun and her really haven't discussed things. He's still pretty mad at her. She is of course saying she never said those things. That if she did, she didn't mean them the way they sounded and that Rob was putting words in her mouth. My son doesn't lie. He wouldn't make up things to hurt us. To make us laugh, yeah. But not to hurt us. She was totally playing the victim in it all. It's not here or there. What's done is done. We have a place again in Georgia. Shaun is out of his mom's house. Rob will be next week. Shaun says this place is just for now. Whatever that means. Judy claims she is moving back to Florida. Wonder if she needs help packing. Not that I care. She is going to die a lonely bitter woman and it's all her own doing. Yesterday she said her dog was puking up blood and Shaun had to go over and see what was going on. He had eaten something he shouldn't have. I just hope she doesn't reel him back into her web of BS. We can't afford for him to be running over there at her every whim. Gas is almost 3.50 a gallon now. Oh, We got rid of Kechi and Danny while I was there. It was harder then I thought it would be to see Kechi go. Danny, I was like.. see ya stupid! I'm not gonna miss you! but Kechi I started to cry cuz we've had him so long. The lives they were living at Judy's were no lives for dogs. In pens or on leashes. Danny more so than Kechi but Kechi was either on the porch or if in the house he stayed on his pillow. One of my friends helped us. Her sister lives in East Ridge and they keep the animals alive at the animal shelter there as long as they can so Shaun was OK with them going there plus it was free so they met us there and took them in for us. If we had taken them to Catoosa's animal shelter it woulda cost us 120 bux plus they woulda put them down as soon as they got them. 

I stopped by Krystal a few times while I was there. Saw the ppl I used to work with. It was nice. Got hugs from everyone and Deanna said I can have my job back. Woo hoo. I gotta work again for master cashier but hopefully that won't take long. I'm gonna take those CNA classes before I go back but have to wait to get my license/certificate in the mail before I can get it switched over to a GA/TN license so I gotta do something with my time to make some money till then. I was thinking I would work PT at Krystal and FT as a CNA. We will see.

Overall my week sucked but it was awesome to be with Shaun and Rob again. I felt a little like I shouldn't have gone cuz of all the drama with his mom but he said that was all her and had nothing to do with me. He said he was so glad I came. It was like a breath of fresh air seeing me and being with me again. Who knew he liked me that much, huh? Lol. I don't know papa. Sometimes I don't feel it. I know he loves me but there's times I just feel in his way. Hell, sometimes I feel like I'm in everyone's way. I guess life is like that. I told him one night I was there that I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere and he said, you belong here with me. I agree, maybe I do. Right now I have things to get done here first. Day is getting away from me. Ack.. I needa nap!! I love you papa. (forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit. <3