February 27

Hi Papa! Gee golly how I miss you. There are so very many days I'd love to be able to pick up the phone and call you. I miss your voice. Heck, I MISS YOU! I don't know a whole lot. Mom is doing OK I guess. We've talked but not much about her surgery. What's done is done. It is what it is. Seems silly to still be mad about it cuz she done did it. She had planned on doing it all along so idk why she asked me what I thought and got me in my tizzy. Just wish you were here. She goes Tuesday to find out if she can have pureed foods. Um, yummy? Can't even imagine. She could almost just buy some baby food. It's pureed and got the nutrients in it. Oy vey. Ick! It's what she wanted to do so I just hope she's ok, recovers well and gets to where she can eat actual food. I love eating too much to go thru something like that but more power to her. She was going to maybe come in March but idk if she still is. We talked about it but she thinks we are mad at her. We're not. We just don't understand why she felt she had to do it. It's her life, her body, was her decision. She's going to Louisville which is 3 hrs from her and then maybe come here or vice versa. It's 5 hrs to here from Louisville or 6.5 from her house. So her coming from Louisville is like driving from her house almost. The older she gets the more I worry about her being out on the roads. Like I did you. I was always so worried about you when you would come here alone and then leave for home. I would check and re-check my phone for the message from mom that you got home safely. I would have never forgiven myself if something had happened to you coming or going from my house. Guess God was the only one who knew that you would go away so close to your house. What, like less than 5 miles? I think you knew that it was about your time. You would always talk about it, that it was your last birthday and then when I had that dream days before it happened, I should have known it was about to happen. Still wish it hadn't. Every single day. Mom said she's wants to live a quality life and live as long as grandma did. I told her that's not her decision, it's His.
Guess what? I finally got my books for assistant manager. No really! I'm excited but it looks so daunting. So many more books to do. I didn't get a chance to talk to Missy today and find out her timeline on it and if I might be moved to another store or if we can even afford to have a 2nd salary manager cuz I'm NOT going to another store. I'll stay a shift manager if I might have to move. I love the convenience of where work is, I love the ppl I work with (most of them) and love working there. Does it make me a loser that I love my fast food job? LOL. I've done so many things in my life but who knew I'd be happy working fast food? I guess God did. It just took me a while to get where I am with the eighty-eleven jobs I've had. Letcha know how it goes.
Me n Joe are great of course. Just love him to pieces. Some times I have to pinch myself that it's me in this awesome relationship with this terrific guy who loves me so much. To come from where I was for so long to this is like a total 360.  They are short handed on cooks at his work so he's been having to run the whole kitchen by himself lately. He gets home at night and is so tired. I appreciate how hard he works for us. He's amazing. He's absolutely nothing like dumdum and I am so thankful for that. He helped me clean up the apartment before he went to work the other night so I wouldn't have anything to do while he was gone. Sweet, huh? I got so lucky with him daddy. I feel myself push back some cuz I'm so scared I'm just in a dream and he's maybe not real. He sure feels real though. :)  I guess I'll go for now. Love you papa. (Forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit.