January 4

Happy new year daddy. It's now 2014. We're actually getting some winter weather. Saying rain changing to snow tomorrow night. Yuck. I'm doing ok. Me and Joe are great. Daddy, you'd have loved Joe for so many reasons but mainly how he loves your daughter. When I get home from work at night the house is clean, leaving me nothing to do and I find a note, a sweet romantic note, from him somewhere in the apartment. I've never been loved like Joe loves me and I adore it and him. You would have so approved of him. Heck, he'd have been your sidekick if we lived closer. Y'all like about all the same things. If only daddy. 

I go to the creditors meeting on Thursday. What would have been your 70th birthday, so I know you'll be with me. I'm a little nervous about it but it is what it'll be. Hold my hand that day, k? 

Ok dad, let's talk about the elephant in the middle of the room. You visited me in my dreams again last night. It was such a vivid dream, like I could reach out and touch you. I was confused though, I didn't understand why you were walking with those others in a line with the hoods on their heads. 

(Dream recap: We were some where with big pillars and like a huge court house, I kept asking anyone passing me if they made a decision yet, if they were going to let you leave and no one would answer me. Then you come around the corner in this line with these other men with their hands tied and hoods on their heads but you didn't have your hands tied or a hood. You saw me and we both smiled and you said, Hey kid! Glad you made it, tell your mother I'm ready for her to come home to me. And then you said, look at this. And you unbuckled your overalls and raised your shirt and showed me these awful bruises on your back. I asked where you got the bruises but then I woke up before you could tell me.)  Daddy, it was so real. You looked so different without your beard but those blue eyes were a sight to see. I laid in bed a few minutes trying to figure out where you got the bruises, maybe your accident? I don't know. I can only pray you come back tonight or real soon. Your welcome in my dreams anytime. I know you're ready for mom but can you wait a little longer? I'm not ready for her to go, maybe you know something we don't. Makes me feel even more against her having her surgery she doesn't need. Oh daddy. :( 

Don't know much else. I'll tell mom what you said, I love you so. (Forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit. XoxoxoX