August 9

Hey papa!! Guess what?! I got a promotion!! :) Whoop whoop!! I was soooo nervous too.. Thought I'd puke when the DS got there. I'm gonna be a shift leader, i.e. a glorified babysitter. Hehe.. a well paid babysitter I might add. I've been training for it for about 4 weeks. I thought it was quite a long shot but Terri, my boss, and several others had faith in me. Was kinda hard to find it in myself but then I started talking to the Big Guy up there and all my worries kinda went away. Plus my boss kept telling me how easy it was... and it is. My boss is absolutely great! I love her to pieces. She's one of the best bosses I've ever had. She's blunt and to the point, pulls no punches. I call her Ma. She's only 10 yrs older than me but is like a mom to all of us. She takes good care of us. I luff her. :) She's another one of those ppl the Lord has put in my path of life and I am glad he did. 

We got Rob back home. Went and got him last weekend. It was so good to get him back.. to hug him again. I missed his hugs. I didn't miss his incessant talking about his video games nor do I care but I pretend I do. I think he knows I don't though. He's a good kid. I guess he had fun in El Dorado. Said he didn't do much but it's El Dorado. How much fun can possibly be had there? I grew up there, I know the answer to that one. He went out a couple of times with his old girlfriend from grade school, Kelsey, and she ended up breaking his heart. I felt so bad for him. He went out a few times with Mrs. G, said he had fun and it was good to see her. He and mom did some stuff too. There wasn't a lot he did that he was like overly excited about. Overall, I think he had an OK summer. He is happy to be home though. I got him some Dr. appts made. He had a dentist appt yesterday and found out that he has 3 cavities. I'm not a happy mom. But they are the same ones they filled when he got his braces on several years ago, the fillings have worn away or something and they need to be replaced. I have some like that too. I just don't have the money to get mine taken care of. Have to get Rob all taken care of by December 31 when his insurance ends. 

I wanted to get back to Kansas this summer but just couldn't afford it. Everything is so expensive, worse than when you were here. Gas is almost 3.50 a gallon. Can't go far with gas prices like that. I wanted to go to mom's house, come see you and go see my friend Maria who moved to Wichita. I don't know when I'll get back. Mom is planning on moving early spring and after she does, besides driving there to see you there won't be a real reason to go to Kansas anymore. The boys will still be there but Brian is always on the road and Richard doesn't like me. I think he just plays nice for mom. I try dad, I really do. But it hurts me to "play nice" with him when I can feel, get the vibe on how he really feels about me. He talks to me like I'm retarded or like I'm some shit he just wiped off his shoe. He says he doesn't have a problem with me but just don't quite believe him. I worry that mom will get burned again by him. She has been hurt so many times by him and says she won't let herself get hurt again but easier said then done. Just hope she's treading lightly and he's not doing it to see what he can get out of her. I'll hurt him if he hurts mom again. She said the next time she goes to Illinois will be October and I'm not invited. Uh, ok. Richard came up with the idea we take turns to be with mom. Are we suddenly 5 again?? He hurts my feelings and he won't talk to me when I try to get him to talk to me about whatever caused this riff between us in the first place. I just want my brother back, the one I grew up with, the one that used to be my best friend. He's not even nearly even close to being that person anymore. He's this pompous condescending jerk that acts as if I'm beneath him now somehow. I do love him, just having a hard time liking him right now. 

Tomorrow night I run my first shift alone. Pretty excited/nervous/scared but I'm gonna be alright. My DS gave me some advice and I'm gonna try to put it into play and see what I can make happen. Gotta keep an eye on speed of service, or SOS and make sure everything flows like it should. I got this! ;) Don't know much else. I've been up since 330am so I'm gonna call it a day. I LOVE YOU DAD!! Miss you so much!! Forehead kiss! Talk to you in a little bit.