April 20

I miss you like crazy. Some days are better than others, this is an other. Work isn't going OK. I'm hating my job n hate that I feel like that. This was to be the job to end all jobs. I was so excited to start working there. The thrill is gone. My boss sucks. I got put on 11-830s n yes, I was mad but I've since gotten over it cuz it's not changing n I'm closing with Daniel so it is what it is. But I made mention of some things I noticed as a deli lead that need attention n told Tim about them n it got flipped back on me n I got blamed n told it was because of my attitude and to figure it out. So he doesn't want to help me and the other deli leads aren't helping so I figured it out n just do the things myself. One mainly being the dang dishes. If we don't keep up on them thru the day at night there are so many you're doing dishes for hours n no one but me, Daniel n sometimes Kaitlyn do the dishes. I told Tim that needed to change n he tells me he's not a babysitter n wasn't going to help change it. When you're getting no help from the boss what do you do, go over the boss's head, which I have. I talked to Carol the other night n told her of my plight n she told me she emailed Bill, THE boss n told him what's up n I'm to get with him n see what can be done. I told her I wanted to be transferred to another department within the store or transferred to another store. She doesn't want to lose me, said it'd be a mistake if Tim let me go. We know this, right? But daddy I just can't stay there, not with Tim. Not with Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn is Tim's little pet, she chases after him like a little puppy. And the way she talks to ppl. Ugh. She makes my blood boil. I think ima go talk to the lady in charge at mission ridge store, it's about 10 minutes from here. That's the store I'd prefer to be transferred to. Idk if I can, idk if I should go over there but ima go. Joe mainly just wants me happy but I'm not feeling very supported. He says that with every job comes BS which I know but when you reach out to the boss n he snarks back, figure it out n it's because of my attitude, that's more BS than one should have to deal with. I don't wanna lose my full time n benefits but almost to the point idc if I do. Entertained the notion of going back to fast food, God help me, but I guess it's the structure n I guess, the organization of it. You know at what times you'll be busy, usually. You know at what time you need this or that done, if you get a good team it's like a well oiled machine n things just run smoothly. Not so chaotic n unorganized like it is in the deli. I could really use one of your big hugs about now. You've been in my dreams lately n idk why. It's like every night you've been there for the past few nights. You talk to me or we're walking some place...but we never get there or get to finish our conversation cuz you have to go n I wake up in tears. I miss you papa. So much. Guess I'll go. I love you daddy. (Forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit. XOXO.