September 27

Hi daddy. It's been awhile since I've posted here. All is well. I am happy. When I started this blog it was a way for me to feel like I still had a connection to you, to help me keep my sanity, so we could still have our talks but this blog has helped me heal in a way. I also realize no matter how many times I post it's not going to bring you back. I still miss you every single day, I still miss our phone calls, our visits, your hugs, your advice, your silliness, your laughter, your orneriness, our heart to heart talks, just hanging out together. So many times I still just wanna pick up the phone and call you to tell you about this or that, tell you I miss you. I still have your number in my phone, can't get myself to delete it. It's been over three years now, I should be at a point where I'm ok with how things are but I'm not, probably won't ever be. Life is what it is, for the most part I've adjusted ok. Things have changed so much since you left. I've already told you most of these. Me n Shaun broke up again, for good, for the better. We lost our house. Mom has retired and moved and is enjoying being retired. My son moved almost 1000 miles away from me and I have no idea when I'll see him again. I found a guy that absolutely truly loves me and I'm absolutely crazy about him too. I've learned that time is like a band-aid that covers your wounds letting them heal at their own pace. You never get over it but thru it. Mitch Albom has a book called The Five People You Meet in Heaven. Saying there are 5 ppl who have the most impact or influence on your life. 5 people who are on your path that somehow mold or change your life. I think my 5 ppl are you, mom, Robbie, Joe, and idk my fifth. I'll have to think about that. Shaun was a big part of my life but I don't think he's my fifth. He's a chapter in my story but I think that's all. I wonder who you woulda said were your five. 

Mom went on her cruise this week. This has been the longest week ever not being able to talk to her. She's sent me a msg here and there telling me where she is but we didn't really get to talk. I guess this is what it's gonna be like when she comes home to you except there'll be no messages. I've missed her a lot this week. Can't wait to hear all about her adventure. We're taking Snick home to her in a couple weeks. Looking forward to seeing her, spending a little time together. Weather able she's gonna come the whole week of Thanksgiving. My boss is gonna let me be off almost the whole time she's here. Gonna have to work 9 straight to be able to do that but it'll be worth it. Her and I don't spend enough time together. 

I don't know a whole lot else. I miss you dad. I feel you walk with me at times and those are good days. We went to Harbor Freight tools the other day, remembered how you liked that place. Joe said he thinks it could become one of his favorite places. I think sometimes how you and Joe woulda got along famously. He is pretty amazing. :) Guess I'll go for now. I love you daddy (forehead kiss) talk to you in a little bit.