January 12

Hey papa. Can you believe this crap?! We got snow on Sunday night, right? A lot of snow, for around here. Like 8 inches. So.. what has that done to the area you ask?  Paralyzed us all papa!! Can you believe it? The kids have been out of school since December 18th. They've called school off for the whole week! The whole week!!! I still had to go to work. Made it to n from safely, thanx for being with me. Plus I was on time both days. Both days were hell though. Monday we were so so busy, cuz we were the only place open. Hardee's, McDonald's and Burger King were all closed. We were the only place on the strip opened. On top of that, all of the 2nd shift crew called out. We ended up closing at 4pm. We opened at 8 on Tuesday but I still had to be there early. Ended up staying past my time to get off work cuz the big boss was there and kept assigning me detail cleaning jobs. Seriously. I wanted to say something but he's the big boss. I like the guy but he can sure push buttons. What was funny though is that customers would ask me how I got to work and I would say, I drove and they would say, Really? Did you have any problems? Well no, I'm from Kansas darlin'... this weather ain't nothing. Just use your common sense! :) Glad though I had today and the next 2 off. Yay me. Gonna do a whole lot of nothing. I don't know much else. Just really annoyed that they have the kids out for no reason. They really need to teach these ppl how to drive in this weather down here. Do you have winter in heaven? Wait, no you don't according to that song. It's probably like a comfortable 68 there all the time. You never liked it too warm or cold anyway. Can't says I blame ya! I miss you so much papa. That picture mom took when you guys were at some restaurant, I look at it and its like looking right at ya. Like I can almost connect with you and you are looking right back at me.

I was thinking today about you, and it happening... and finding out, I was the last one to know. I'm not upset that I was the last to know but just wish I hadn't been in a way too. I wish I had been there, been with you, maybe I coulda seen the truck and told you to stop and you'd be here now. I know we can't woulda coulda shoulda but, oh daddy! My sweet papa bear. You are some place I didn't want you to have to see for a long, long time. I watched some show today and there was a young guy, in his 20s that had been out partying and he OD'd and almost died and is now a quadriplegic and can't talk anymore, just use his hands for yes and no questions. Made me think what mom had said, There are worse things then being dead. I think how I wish you had made it through the accident, you'd still be here with us but what quality of life would you have? I'd be there to help mom take care of you but how unfair  and awful it would be to be like a prisoner inside yourself and maybe not be able to communicate with us. Heavy thoughts I know. Just some things I think about some times. Plus I watch too much TV and maybe have too much time on my hands.

 Wish you were here to have a talk with your grandson. He's still talking to that girl. That 22 yr old from New York. I blocked her number on his phone but he's found other ways to talk to her. She plays this game he does and they talk to each other when they are playing it. Has me so mad. Shaun says he's not OK with it but he is supporting it by not stopping it. He said I'm over reacting and I need to let him grow up and that we can't keep protecting him. Yes we can!! He says that he's 17. Yes he is correct. He is 17. Not an adult so we can still tell him what to do. Don't know what to do about it either. Rob said she knows that she is too old for him. Well apparently she doesn't know much if she is still talking to my son. OK. I'm done for tonight. Thank you for listening. I love you papa. (forehead kiss) Talk to you in a little bit. <3